for blue blue skies

This word is my best friend and worst enemy. 

Being back in the eight-oh-one has made me recognize the many changes that took place as well as the changes that are soon to come. At first, moving back home was the last thing I wanted. I didn't want to move. I finally felt I made my own place, my own runaway, my own sanctuary of freedom. Unfortunately, things cost money and it was money I did not have so the change was mandatory except, it was a change I wasn't willing to make. Sometimes my stubbornness gets the best of me and I get too comfortable in my own world. But honestly, sometimes I wish I could just be stuck in my own world

 and not face anymore change. 

I feel as if change is all I've known my entire life. Giving you a list of my changes just wouldn't cut it. You'd get tired of reading the list and I'd get tired of trying to write it. All you need to know is that the past five years of my life, I have gone through more change than any teenager could handle; and just as I thought I caught a break from change, it enjoys playing mind-games with me and smacks me with the biggest change anyone could ever go through.....

....growing up.

 Growing up and becoming an adult is faced with several changes. Everyone has to go through it. The good, the bad. It's a love-hate relationship and I honestly don't know how to handle it. Your family gets older, your friends are starting to get hitched, your childhood days are long past due, and you receive 

more responsibility and less freedom. 

On that note, the change of becoming an adult is the biggest change of reality you could ever make. When I look at it, you have one chance to go through however many changes you want to make, mistakes you want to do, however many lessons you want to learn and responsibility you want to uphold because growing up only happens once. You might as well throw it all out on the table. The stupid, the good, the bad, the uneducated. It's your time in life to experience the world and experience yourself. This is one change I am absolutely fearful of but have waited several years for it to come. It's funny how when we are young we want to grow up and when we are finally growing up, we want to be young again. We are never satisfied. But besides the fact, the reality of being an adult is now here and even though I am sick of change, 
you have to do it. Change isn't always a bad thing, right? 

Especially since I can't stop myself from growing up. 

I heard being older and having more responsibility can be fun. 

So all I have to say is, bring on the change. I promise I can handle it.