a second chance

For some reason, life has given me many second chances. 
Second chances that sometimes I feel as if I do not deserve. 
Second chances that have helped me become the person I am becoming today. 
Second chances that create a lesson that will last me a lifetime.
 A second chance to find me. 


"If you don't get lost, there's a chance you may never be found."

For the past week, I have had a lot of time to dream, think and wonder how my life is, what my life could have been and what it can still be. For the past week, I have realized how important my family is to me and how much they are my number one priority in life. For the past week, I have recognized what I want to change about myself and how I view the World and people around me. For the past week, I have felt closer to Heaven then I have ever been before. Closer to a life that was nowhere in my reach. Closer to the beautiful life I want to live. 

In this life, it is only what really matters. In this life, you are the only person that can understand you. So forget about what everyone else says, thinks or does. Forget about what is in or out. Forget about what is important to them, but what is important to YOU. What do YOU want to become. What do YOU want to think, do or say. What do YOU want to be. For me, it is hard to grasp that concept of me, myself and I. I am not the type that talks about his or herself. I am not the type that wants to be the center of attention. I am all about hearing, doing and seeing how others view the World but sometimes, like anything else, can get me into trouble. But I have come to realize that I need to be selfish sometimes and think about what I want. Think about what is going to benefit me and help me rather than someone else. How are you going to know what you want and know yourself if you are always doing what others want, think, and want you to say.

I thank God everyday for giving me this second chance. A second chance at living a normal life. Sometimes you have to go through the toughest of storms in order to learn a lesson. And never did I think landing me in the ICU would teach me a life-lesson, but I may have never of learned if it wasn't for that experience. 

There is something so beautiful about a rainstorm. Not necesarily the storm itself, but what follows after each storm. A vibrant ray of colors that appears out in the mere sunlight of the darkest of skies. The hope that someone looks for when they feel as if they are almost too blind to see. The light that finally appears in the tail-end of it all. The layer of colors that never seem to fade and without a doubt, never change. I now see one of the many rainbows that life has given me and all I can do is embrace every second of it before another returns.