worth the rose

I decided my blog is more of my journal. Ever since I have gotten into the blogging world, my chances of writing in my journal rather on here are slim to none. So here I am, writing on my blog at two in the morning about something that 

I can't seem to get out of my mind. 

IRRITATION

Not the most positive and uplifting feeling slash word you want to be thinking of late at night. And I am sure you are already dreading the fact that this post isn't worth reading. I don't blame you. I am not a big fan of reading downer comments or stories but I need to write it out somehow and this is a lot easier than taking up a third of my journal space. 

To start off, I have a few questions in mind;

Why do people lie? 

What makes someone better or less than someone else?

What makes someone upset? 

Why do people say or do things without thinking?

Why is it easier to remember devastation rather than preservation?

There have been things that have occurred in my own personal life throughout the past month or so that has made more of an irritation in my life. I do not know how or why it is happening but maybe it's a learning experience for me. Things have happened the last couple of weeks that have made me really open my eyes and realize my faults, my strengths, my loves, and my guilty frustrations. But one question always sticks with me throughout every single day, "who is going to save your world?" obviously it's you and only you. You are the one who puts these emotions and obstacles in your life and you are the only one that can get your way out of them through your hands as well as God's. 

Things will happen. You may break a heart or two, have your heart broken, deal with unwanted drama through coworkers and roommates, have a couple bad hair-days, maybe receive an unwanted speeding ticket from a cop that had nothing better to do on his Sunday afternoon; but despite the many irritations that can occur on a daily basis, I always tell myself that there is ALWAYS something to smile about. So even though a few minutes ago I started this out with some frustrations, deceits, and a few frowns... lifting my head high, throw out a smile or two and 

look forward is all I can do. 

And as for the few irks in my life the last little while, you took a tole on me and you may have destroyed a little of me for maybe just a little bit, but I am done. Done having you apart of me. Done having you weigh heavily in my mind and heart. It is time for me to let you all go. So farewell and goodbye forever. 

“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.”