further north

So here I am:

clueless, lost, confused, empty and all the other emotions that place you in a state of restriction. I don't mind it, but I don't prefer it. Looking left and right and realizing that no one or nothing seems familiar. Sitting in an empty room making deep sighs after every passing second. Closing my eyes and wishing I could place myself further North. Place myself closer to 
where a piece of me resides.

So here I am:

Dressed in my Rolling Stones "T" and black on black attire roaming around school, not necessarily feeling lost, but neither do I feel safe. I find myself smiling from time to time and I feel excited to be here, but in the back of my mind I know apart of me is missing. A part of me is not here, 
it is further North.

So here I am:

Putting on a smile. Putting on a smile for the people that pass me by. The people that seem to not have that light and fire in their eyes. The people that seem to feel as if they are better then the person walking to the left or right of them. I wish they would wake up. Wake up and realize that this place would be better if they could find that light. Find that there is more to it than being on top, being the best, perfect or superficial. Find that this place would be better if it just had a spark of excitement. But it doesn't, it is further North.

So here I am:

At UVU dreaming, thinking and wishing I could be in a place that seems more like home then here. Dreaming, thinking and wishing I could see familiar faces as I walk down the halls. Dreaming, thinking and wishing I felt a sense of safety or at least a pitty smile from anyone that passes me by, but it is further North.

I feel restricted for the meantime, but I don't mind it; I know it will get better.

It has only been two days, but it feels as if it has been years. I know I will find my place and those stoned faces will soon turn into smiles, but in the meantime I have to wait. Wait until I find my place; 
but my heart will forever be further North.